Run Like Mad
by bunniculasama
Summary: All things finally considered, since when does what you planned matter? MK
1. Chapter 1

Run Like Mad

All things finally considered, since when does what you planned matter?(MK)

* * *

_I've been on my knees,_

_crawling towards eternity_

_looking for the piece of me that always got away._

_And I've been so afraid to stand my ground_

_so I simply close my eyes, bite my lip_

_and swallow every tear_

Sorry For Myself – Jann Arden

* * *

Life was definitely not what she expected it to be. Not that she expected normalcy, that would be ridiculous. Honestly, had you told her what would happen on her fifteenth birthday three hundred and sixty five days before, she'd have laughed at you, but now, on the anniversary of her 18th year, she still found herself surprised. After all, she'd never expected _this_ outcome.

Naraku had been dead for a year. That was a blessing and a relief. The jewel was completed and everyone lived to tell the tale. Inuyasha was still a hanyou. Shippou was still adorable – and attached to her hip, Kohaku had lived, and Kikyo was finally laid to rest. Happy ending, right?

_Except_... except that everything had turned out wrong. Sango and Miroku never got married, the monk had simply disappeared one night without a word. Heartbroken but stoic, Sango had left too, following rumors of a village of demon slayers to the north. And Inuyasha...

Well, he hadn't loved her after all. He couldn't have. After a few weeks of moping around Kaede's village, he'd left for the woods, telling Kagome that hanging around humans all day was driving him nuts. But it wasn't the humans, it was her face, the perpetual reminder of his ill-fated love.

And so here she was, apprenticed to Kaede and serving as a second miko to the village. It's not like she had anywhere else to go, the well had been destroyed in the final battle. She couldn't go back home, but had comforted herself with the knowledge that her companions were with her, and together, they could be the family that none had alone.

Kagome really hated it when she was wrong.

When she'd gone to bathe that morning, she'd spent a solid ten minutes staring at her own reflection in the pool. She felt as though she'd aged a decade since her first arrival in the Warring States, but in reality, she'd only grown up. Her face had matured, dropping the last shades of childhood, making her appear so adult. After all this time of convincing herself that she wasn't Kikyo, she looked even more like the dead miko.

Life could be so unfair. Particularly when even after he'd left for good, her heart still thumped painfully when she thought of the hanyou. She couldn't help her face, and she'd had no choice whose soul she carried. But he couldn't let go and left. Her tears splashed the pool, distorting her own image enough for her to break from the misery. She bathed quickly then, willing herself to get lost in the bevy of chores waiting for her.

At least in her work, she could forget the loneliness that lanced through her.

It was in the middle of tending Kaede's herb garden that she first noticed the ruckus coming from the village. Standing stiffly, she wiped the dirt from her clothes and stretched. Their village was remote and small – travelers were few. They had no inn nor shelter for travelers other than the hut that she and Kaede shared. Pressing her way though the spectators, she stepped forward to greet the stranger. "Welcome to our village, I am the Miko Kagome-" Only to find that this stranger was no stranger at all, but a young boy she knew by name, "Kohaku?"

He smiled shakily, dismounting from Kilala, who immediately shrank to what Kagome privately thought of as her 'fun size'. "Hello, Kagome-sama."

Tears leaked from the corner of her eyes as she hugged him, grateful for some reminder of her past, a familiar face she'd thought she'd never see again. "It's so good to see you, Kohaku." She knew she was probably choking the life out of the poor boy, but by god, it was good to see him.

"My sister sends her best wishes. She misses you very much. In fact, she's the reason I'm here."

Kagome's heart felt like it was going to burst with happiness. Nearly a year of separation from the woman she'd thought of as her sister had been hard on her, her departure worse. In her bleakest times she'd felt that maybe her friendship with Sango was a figment of her imagination, and that the woman had seen her only as another traveler with the same destination, and that had hurt, but knowing the woman missed her was, well it was important. "Is she alright? Is she happy in her new village? Are you happy there? Tell me everything!" Losing whatever shred of decorum that had been in her initial greeting, she dragged the poor boy by the wrist, determined to get every bit of news from the last year from him.

And he, well, he was nice enough to go along with it.

As soon as soon as she'd gotten him in her hut and served him some tea, (and summoned Kaede of course.) He began to answer her questions. "Yes, Sango and I are happy. Our village is a true home to us and yes, she's fine. In fact, she's ecstatic."

"Oh?"

"Well," he smiled, fully this time, "She's getting married."

Kagome could have fainted, "Married?"

"To Hirohito-san. He is the greatest hunter in the village. She would like... well, she was wondering if you'd be there." He looked at her questioningly, although Kagome thought it was silly of him to do so. After all...

"There's no way I'd miss that! When do we have to leave! Oh, I have to find Shippou, he'd want to come too." and suddenly, Kagome was a whirlwind of activity, snatching her battered yellow backpack from it's hiding place and throwing random items inside. Nothing could stop or slow her from seeing her sister again, even if she had to drag Kohaku, Shippou, and Kilala behind her the whole way.

Kaede just smiled. It was good to see life in her apprentice again.

* * *

It had been four hundred and three days since he'd seen her. He'd been through at least fourteen different villages, flirted with countless faceless women, and walked miles. But she still haunted him. You see, he'd made a mistake with her, one that would follow him until the day he died apparently. He'd allowed himself to hope.

Before he'd encountered her, Miroku was a man who did not believe in love. It was fleeting and disorienting, a feeling that anyone can get from a sake bottle with fewer consequences. He was instead, a follower of love's sister, lust, jumping from woman to woman without much care. After all, his days were numbered and there was no time or point for attachments.

But he met her, and his life changed, albeit slowly. He had friends, a connection in this world that wasn't his uncle or a bumbling raccoon. He woke up in the morning to breakfast and companionship. The best he'd had before was a worried looking woman hurrying him out of her home. He'd tried to keep his distance at first, distrusting that his luck could change so completely, but it proved to be futile.

You see, Kagome Higurashi was as ignorable as a one ton bear youkai.

Beguilingly innocent with an easy smile, and not omit, shapely legs, she'd turned any number of male heads on their travels, eliciting promises of marriage and claims of ownership from all manner of youkai. The really short skirt didn't hurt either.

But that wasn't it.

Certainly her eyes sparkled when she laughed and her hair was like silk, cascading around her face wild and free. Her face was one meant for angels, and her body, well, there were no complaints with her shape coming from him at all.

Still not what had caught him though...

It had been her heart. He was a man of the cloth, but no one he'd met could rival her for caring and generosity. He knew of no other miko that would take in an orphaned kitsune and raise him as her own. He didn't know a single woman who'd try to get to know a lecherous monk and befriend him. Most just brushed him aside.

And that had made him fiercely protective of the girl. He'd watched in simmering anger as her love, the only man she'd ever had eyes for, left her side repeatedly to be with Kikyo, a dead woman. He'd tried to comfort her, but he wasn't the one she'd wanted. No, for Miroku it was only a sad smile and a promise that she was OK, even though he could tell she was lying.

But he'd hoped anyway. Hoped that maybe, someday she would see him standing there. That she would someday know that when he slept at night, he could only dream of her and her smile. But that was futile too. After all, he was cursed and she was in love with some one else. They weren't living a fairy tale, and he had no right to hope.

It took until a week before Naraku's death for him to realize that.

She would never leave Inuyasha. And he was an idiot for staying. So, when the final battle was over, he left. There was no need to overstay one's welcome.

But he still hung on to the memories. He couldn't let them go. He needed_something_ of her to carry with him after everything.

_They were in a meadow with long grass and warm breezes. The night sky hung low, littered with stars glistening from the heavens. "Miroku?"_

_"Yes, Kagome-sama?"_

_Silence. "The stars are really pretty."_

_He sighed, "Yes they are."_

_He knew that wasn't what she'd wanted to say, but he kept his tongue, she'd work her way around to whatever it was in a while. After a long pause, "Does it hurt?"_

_Confused, he rolled to his side to look at her face, mildly amused that she was determined not to look at his, "Does what hurt, Kagome-sama?"_

_Her right hand gestured vaguely, "The Kazana."_

_Oh. "No."_

_She rolled over, smoothing the grass between them to meet his eye, "Liar." He smiled, saying absolutely nothing._

_She smiled in return sadness still lingering in her eyes, her fingers playing dangerously with his beads, "It's really strange to me that something so seemingly small could hold something powerful at bay." He couldn't breathe, she was touching him and he couldn't breathe. "Honestly, they're just beads."_

_His head was swimming, but somehow he found words, "Its not the beads, Kagome-sama, its faith. Faith is the reason -" He took the liberty of tucking a stray bit of hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering briefly on her cheek, "faith is the reason that a young girl like yourself can fire an arrow into Naraku and make half his body purify."_

_She just smiled, and for once, she was happy._

* * *

It's been a long time and I'm rusty as hell. Drop me a line and let me know what you think. 


	2. Chapter 2

Run Like Mad

I forgotted, I don't own Inuyasha. Or maybe I should say I still don't own Inuyasha. All I can really say is that Santa is in some deep freaking doo-doo.

I would also like to say that this next chapter, aw hell, the whole story is dedicated to Ann. You've always been a great friend to me and when I read my first review after an eternity of not writing, it meant an awful lot to me to find out it was from you. Thank you, Honey.

* * *

_Look into me heart and tell me I am a complete disaster._

_Wasn't that what you were after?_

_I always thought it was._

_Wasn't I complete desire,_

_filthy ash without the fire?_

_You could not have been higher without some kind of drug._

Sorry For Myself – Jann Arden

* * *

_The river was cold on her toes, the numbness seeping up her legs at least took her mind off of Inuyasha and Kikyo. Sure the sun was glorious this morning, and the birds hadn't shut up since before dawn. Maybe if she'd gotten some sleep she could enjoy it. But no, she'd awoken to the sound of the hanyou sneaking down from the his perch in the tree and hadn't gotten a wink since she'd caught sight of Kikyo's weird silver flying snake things. She wanted to drag him to hell for crap's sake – where was the attraction in that?_

_It was inevitable that some one would come try to cheer her up. It was embarrassing, everyone knowing how she felt about Inuyasha, everyone watching with sympathy when he'd take off. She knew they only wanted to help, but there was only so much a girl could take. So when he sat next to her, she didn't even let him open his mouth, "I'm OK, Miroku, I promise."_

_There was something there, something in his smile, but she ignored it. _

_"There was never a doubt you were alright, Kagome-sama. The water just looked so nice I wanted to join you."_

_They sat in silence for a while, watching the sun inch away from the horizon. "There was a story in my village about a fisherman and his devoted wife. It had something to do with the tide, I'm certain of that." He smirked softly, "Although the importance of it has been lost to sake I'm afraid."_

_She giggled, "Ah, the dangers of alcohol, you miss these gems of wisdom about – fish... and tides."_

_He sighed dramatically, a genuine smile playing at the corners of his mouth, "I am ashamed, Kagome-sama, I shall attempt to improve upon my fish knowledge in the future."_

_She kicked water at him, laughing when she soaked him. "See that you do monk."_

She awoke to Shippou shaking her. "Come on, Kagome – wake up! Its time to go!" He was tugging on her sleeve, dragging her out of her sleeping bag and onto her feet. Briefly she thought of Inuyasha while they searched for the shards. She didn't think that Shippou would approve of the likeness.

It made her giggle just the same. "Alright Shippou, let's get moving."

The dream she'd been having, well, memory to be precise, it was just – weird. Sure, she'd missed Miroku, but to see him again in her dream, it was just, well unexpected. And inexplicable – but nice. Nice to hear his voice and be around him again, even if it was just a dream. She smiled a bit to herself as she packed up camp. They'd be reaching Sango today, and she couldn't wait.

The previous day of travel had been perfect. The emotional dust that had accumulated in the last year was falling away, and even the soreness of traveling the entire day was welcome. She'd felt more peaceful bedding down by the fire last night, than the last, well the last year in her own bed.

She felt like she was fifteen all over again. In a good way.

She watched Shippou race up the road ahead, chasing butterflies and gathering flowers he brought back for her. In the meantime, she caught up on all of her Sango related news. "So tell me about Hirohito-san... is he really good enough for Sango?"

Kohaku's eyes got bright as he launched into an animated description, "He's so brave, you should see him! This one time, when a bear youkai was attacking the next village over, he marched out with just a knife. A knife, with a bear youkai! And he brought its head back! And he's very nice, he- he bring Sango flowers, and one time I even heard him telling her a poem, but you can't tell Sango you know about that though, I wasn't supposed to be there, but he's so cool, I left when they got all kissy though."

Kagome giggled, "So she's really happy then, right?"

He nodded, sobering a bit, "She was sad at first, I know. I, I heard her cry at night for a long time. But then, it changed. She started hunting with the other fighters and met Hirohito-san. He made her blush a lot, and then – then she started smiling a lot. I think she's really happy."

"That's good then. Hirohito-san better be all you say he is, because if he hurts him, I'll – well, I'll do something."

Kohaku laughed again, "He killed a bear youkai with a knife, Kagome-sama, what are you gonna do?" She just ruffled his hair, playfully ignoring his protests as she checked on Shipppou.

Who was missing.

"Do you see Shippou, Kohaku?"

He blinked, scanning the road and countryside, "No."

Panic lanced through the girl, "SHIPPOU!!!"

She ran ahead, trying desperately to catch sight of him, but her kit was nowhere to be found. Frantically she kept calling for him, screaming his name to the wind. Horrible images ran through head of the defenseless child alone in the woods. Crying, cornered, threatened, the thought made her knees weak. "SHIPPOU!"

"Kagome?"

"Oh, Shippou, "She pulled the bewildered kit into her arms, crying into his hair, ignoring the way he was squirming uncomfortably. She was probably squeezing him harder than necessary, but she'd been so scared. "where did you go? You scared me so badly. Why'd you run away like that?"

He squirmed out of her arms, brushing himself off as soon as his little paws touched ground. Gesturing behind him he said, "I smelled Miroku!"

Looking up from the little kitsune's face, she saw the monk trying his best not to laugh. He was failing. "It is good to see you again, Kagome-sama."

Kagome was flustered, maybe she'd overreacted a bit to her child's disappearance, but damnit, Naraku maybe gone, it doesn't mean that feudal Japan had become Disney World. She still felt justified in her reaction.

"It's good to see you too, Miroku, but it's not nice to laugh at me." She was pouting, she knew it, but damnit, she shouldn't have to feel like an idiot for being scared about Shippou.

He full out chuckled at her face, "I apologize, Kagome-sama. It was insensitive of me."

"Psh." She smiled at him anyway, thrilled to see him anyway. "It's so weird to see you today, I mean I just had this dream about you last night and here you are!"

She realized what she shouldn't had said the instant she saw the smirk, "I hope it was a good dream."

She'd meant to roll her eyes, chastise him for the perversion, instead, she blushed. Probably because she'd missed him, and she'd just felt really stupid about losing it over Shippou's disappearing act, and well, she just kept putting her damn foot in her mouth.

"You would go there."

* * *

It was such a relief to be near her again. After so much time, it felt like he'd finally managed to pull himself out of the desert. The year had been kind to her, he felt stupid thinking it, but it was true. She'd somehow found away to become more beautiful, and the way her cheeks had pinked when she'd realized her slip... he'd nearly forgotten to breathe.

He didn't believe his eyes when Shippou jumped him in his journey. The kit had babbled as he'd clung to him, asking all sorts of questions. Numbly, Miroku answered what he could, but running through the back of his mind like a mantra was the knowledge that wherever Shippou was, Kagome was close at hand. He simply let the kitsune drag him. Eventually the road would lead to her.

He ought not have laughed at her. He knew that. He'd heard her cries for the kit and recognized the fear in them. He knew how much she cared for Shippou, and honestly, had he been in her place, he would have reacted just as strongly... but he'd just been so – so relieved to see her face, so happy to talk to her again, he couldn't do anything but laugh.

It hadn't escaped his notice that Inuyasha was no where to be found. He wondered at the implications, but couldn't find the words to ask. He just let the question hang unanswered. It itched at him though, and a couple of times while walking, he'd nearly asked, but instead he'd aimed for less dangerous questions. When Shippou let him know the destination of his new found journey, he'd nearly choked.

"We're going where?"

Kagome shot a look at Shippou, who didn't seem at all concerned. Not that it upset him, he just figured out of everyone, he – well, he wouldn't be at Sango's wedding, although a year ago everyone'd thought it would be his big day too. And he had thought about it to be honest. It wasn't as if Kagome was available, and Sango was beautiful. She had seemed up for the idea, but he found he just couldn't do it.

So imagine his surprise to find out he was going to be there anyway. He was so surprised, in fact, he'd missed whatever it was that Kagome was trying to say to him. "Eh?"

She stopped walking, her fingers brushing his sleeve as she tried desperately to look anywhere but his face. He tried to concentrate on her words instead of the burn of her touch, "Are you going to be OK with this?"

He tried to find the strength to smile, "Kagome-sama, I'm the one that left. Your concern should be for Sango. I'm not sure my face is one she will want to see. Especially not now."

Her fingers clutched tighter, as if she were afraid he was just going to disappear. She looked as though she were trying to come up with a reason, anything to make him stay, which tugged at him. Oh he knew it was his imagination but still - "...alright to come."

Excuse me?

Kohaku stammered a bit, but got the words out again, "She said... she said she wouldn't mind you being there." His face got very serious, "Make her cry though and your finished."

* * *

And I'm totally going to leave it there for now. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it made my day. 


	3. Chapter 3

_Hide me inside your heart let me wash away  
Hold me beneath your body all night and day  
I pray that the morning comes and with me you'll stay  
Oh hide me inside your heart let me wash away _

Love is the Only Soldier – Jann Arden

* * *

The night was thick and warm, nearly uncomfortably so. Looking outside the simple window of the hut he currently occupied, he couldn't put a number to the lightening bugs hovering on the ground. There was no breeze, just heavy warm air, and he was stifling.

It took a lot to make the monk sweat, and their arrival to Sango's new home was just enough to set him off. He could admit to himself that the peace of the last year had been as kind to Sango as it had to Kagome, however as the passed time had made Kagome into more of a woman, Sango had gained some – well innocence. During their travels Sango had always been the adult, and now, watching her from a distance as she shyly introduced Kagome to Hirohito, holding his hands and blushing shyly, she looked more like a little girl than he'd ever guessed she could.

This Hirohito was good for her, better than he ever could have been, but he still found himself hanging back from the warm welcomes the girls exchanged. He was painfully aware he shouldn't be there, and judging by the size and obvious strength of Sango's new paramour, he was sure his removal from the village would in fact, be very painful.

Sango's eyes had been hell to look at, still carrying a trace of pain, but worse was the forgiveness there. She had honestly forgiven him, she'd hugged him of all things, and welcomed him. Hirohito-san was a different story. Standing uncomfortably taller than the monk, his eyes were a warning. Apparently his reputation proceeded him, and the hunter was not amused. He had stiffly offered his abode for the monk's shelter, and from that moment on, awkwardness had reigned supreme.

But now, well into the night, Hirohito slept peacefully while Miroku was irritatingly awake. Oh he'd tried to sleep, gotten close, but true slumber had eluded him. The humidity made him itchy and listless, and his conscious state was driving him insane. He was nearly willing to allow Sango another crack at his head if it meant she'd knock him out. He just wasn't sure how to achieve that end without angering the sleeping bear in the corner.

In the end, he decided to take a walk – far safer than angering the tajia. Slightly less muggy outside than in, he sighed quietly in relief, setting out for his stroll. The village was silent, sleeping the eve of the wedding away. It was peaceful and it didn't take a lot of imagination to understand the home that Sango had found here. He could imagine such a place for his own home, if he allowed himself such fantasies, but he squelched that thought, knowing he'd blown whatever chance he'd had at a home a long time ago.

Trying desperately to shake his mood, he wandered closer to the fields he'd seen villagers in the previous day, leaving the village, and hopefully his embarrassing juvenile angst in the dust. It had taken a few steps, but eventually he felt the niggling presence – he was not alone.

"Has Hirohito-san kicked you out already?" She was smiling as she matched her strides to his. There was mischief in Kagome's eyes when she caught up with him, knocking into him playfully. "By the gods its stifling in Sango's hut. I don't know how she can sleep through this nonsense!"

He smiled at that, "Strangely, I find myself grateful that my host as well is immune to the weather."

Kagome grunted in a very un-lady like fashion, "It's just so gross out here, and I have no idea where I can find some sort of water, anything would be nice about now."

"Perhaps, Kagome-sama, removing some superfluous garments would serve to cool both of us." Schooling his features into as innocent mask as possible, spreading his arms wide he added, "After all, there's no need to keep warm in this weather."

He expected the slap, braced himself for it instinctively. Imagine his surprise when he heard only laughter, "A year hasn't changed you at all has it, Miroku? Do you still ask girls to bear your child too?"

He recovered quickly from his surprise, "Why do you ask, Kagome-sama? Have you started to reconsider my offer?"

Her eyes narrowed playfully, "Would you even know what to do if a girl said yes?"

Something in him stilled, wondering how far the girl was going take this joke, and wondering if he had the fortitude to keep his hands to himself. Yet, he found he couldn't resist, "Was my performance lacking in your dream last night, Kagome-sama? I could try to improve if you'd enlighten me to my short comings."

She smiled this time, genuinely and Miroku found himself wondering what strange substance had been slipped in his food. Perhaps he should have been more suspicious of the mushrooms served at dinner, "I've missed you Miroku... I never thought there'd be a time that you being a pervert would make me so happy, but I've missed you."

He stopped, his hand reaching out to still her by grabbing her arm, "I've missed you too, Kagome-sama." His hand brushed her cheek, spurred into action by some strange forwardness he hadn't known he'd possessed, "I've missed you a great deal."

Her eyes were like lakes in the moonlight, deep, mysterious and watery, her voice was almost too soft to hear, "Hasn't it been long enough for you to just call me Kagome?"

The hand on her cheek slid of its own volition to her chin, cupping it gently, "Kagome." He gave into temptation, just once letting himself do what he'd been pining for for years. He kissed her.

She stiffened briefly before she softened to his chest. He took it as all the invitation he needed, wrapping his arms around her, needing to feel her body against his own. He felt like a starving man, deepening the kiss out of near desperation. He couldn't keep the satisfied moan from slipping out when her lips parted. When the kiss ended, her eyes were glowing, her lips were swollen, and her cheeks were dusted with a rosy blush. He wanted her – badly. Kagome was fumbling with his outer robe, her fingers slipping while she tried to divest him of the offending garment.

His mind was numb As dumb as he knew it was to open his mouth, he had to... he had to know. "Kagome, are you sure?"

Her smile was inviting, "I'm sure."

"Why?"

"Does it matter?"

_Yes._

He shot up with a gasp, his heartbeat racing. He was soaked with sweat, his robes clinging to him like an obnoxious second skin. Tossing about for some sort of explanation, he found himself flopping like a fish on Hirohito-san's floor. Kagome was no where to be found. He slumped back on the mat, groaning as he blew the hair out of his face.

* * *

Writing this chapter was like pulling teeth. Other than writing a fifteen page report on a one hundred and fifty page book about Shinto Meditation, this is by far the most painful experience I've ever had at a keyboard. I'm really not happy with the way this chapter turned out and I apologize for the delay in posting for such a crap chapter.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed .


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